Quotes of the year 2015

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Every week, our Blagger’s Blog runs through all the media news and goings on you really should know about, but may well be too busy to pick up on. Each edition also opens with something someone said, somewhere, ranging from the most poignant to the downright absurd, the funniest to the most sincere.

In true Almanac style, our eyes have been busy scouring the last 52 Blagger’s Blog posts, allowing us to come up with the following list that we think best summarises the way things have been during the 12 months now coming to a close. To quote a famous quote: “Read ‘em and weep.”

No one has the right to kill those who offend them… …If they claim that right, they are the most deserving of satire and criticism imaginable.” Nick Cohen, writing for The Spectator, commenting on the Charlie Hebdo attacks. January.

I feel disoriented and scared.” Jeremy Kyle’s narration as he was attacked with pepper spray whilst filming in Magaluf, Majorca. January.

Whilst I sympathise with One Direction fans, I hardly think this qualified as compassionate leave.” Alan Price, Employment Law Director of Peninsula, in response to calls from clients asking for advice on giving staff time off after Zayn Malik quit the chart-topping band. February.

I wonder what world you live in.” Ed Miliband to David Cameron, live on ITV. April.

I’ll eat my own hat if the polls are right.” Lib Dem peer, Lord Paddy Ashdown, referring to exit polls that pointed to a Conservative victory in the UK general election. May.

I need feminism because I intend on marrying rich, and I can’t do that if my wife and I are making 75cents for every dollar a man makes.” 18-year-old Californian high school graduate and self-professed ‘really gay’ woman, Caitlyn Cannon, via Twitter. May.

The days are long gone when we could afford to be a paper of record and dutifully report everything that happened on our patch.” A leaked internal memo within regional newspaper giant Trinity Mirror’s Midlands titles. June.

While the 700 guests- who paid either £450 or £1,000 a ticket depending on where they sat- whooped with delight at images of Ed Balls’ defenestration at the general election, the mood of the evening was understandably restrained following recent shocking events in Tunisia.” The Daily Mail reporting from the Conservative Party Summer Party. July.

I would swim through vomit to vote against the bill, and listening to some of the nauseating speeches, I think we might have to.” Labour MP John McDonnell, clarifying his position on the Welfare Work and Reform Bill. July.

I have always had an idea to launch a crisp sandwich shop.” Mark Pearson, owner of Mr Crisp, the first crisp butty shop in England (Keighley, West Yorks.) July.

If they don’t clear up after their dog I’ll pop out of the hedge and say ‘excuse me, could you please clean up after your dog. You’re being filmed. If you clean up the film will be deleted straight away. If not you’ll be posted on my Facebook page for people to identify and then you’ll be reported to the police.” The Turdinator. August.

You’re saying: ‘You don’t get what everybody else gets. You have to shop up in the tyre section’”. Hollywood actress Melissa McCarthy, with regard to plus-sizes in clothes shops. August.

By the time I was completely stoned, I was utterly bereft.” Channel 4 News stalwart John Snow, recalling the time he smoked weed. September.

Sh!t off you ham mannequin.” @TechnicallyRon on Twitter, targeting David Cameron. September.

You’re basically writing copy for a brand, is what you’re doing.” Former Queen of the Mommy Bloggers, Heather Armstrong, explaining why she quit blogging. September.

Theresa May’s immigration speech is dangerous and factually wrong.” The Telegraph. October.

We are proud to be a growing UK creative business… …Our success means that we paid £3million in tax last year, 684 times more than Facebook.” Matthew Freud, owner of PR firm Freud Communications. October.

House passes bill that could limit Syrian refugees. Statue of Liberty bows head in anguish.” CNN journalist Elise Labott, on Twitter, in response to a vote in the U.S. House of Representatives, shortly before she was suspended. November.

He lied just like Obama lied about Obamacare. Just like they lie about so much.” Renowned fabricator, former-Presidential candidate and 133rd richest man in America, Donald Trump, hitting back at a White House spokesperson’s comments about his hair. December.