Going to hold it against Britney?


The Mail offers its razor sharp, super useful insight

Now, call me old, miserable and behind the times…. but this new Britney Spears video –  Hold it against me – who likes this kind of thing? Teenagers? Under 10’s? QVC addicts?
Product placement is nothing new but I was surprised that url’s didn’t flash up to match the clunky branded shots <JUSTINCASE> you missed them.  Is she really so skint that she needs to turn her promo into a kaleidoscope of random products?
Oh and no, it’s not ironic. Neither is it a metaphor.
We all know Britney has car crash tendencies, but everyone wanted her to pull it around. Pop fan or not, few will deny enjoying the music of her pre-skinhead crying-in-the-gutter, not-that-innocent sex bomb phase.
Fast forward to Hold it Against Me, and it wouldn’t be surprising if people began turning against the one time pop princess. Much has been made of the fact this is ripped off from the Bellamy Brothers – but what of the expression; ‘If I said you had a beautiful body would you hold it against me?’ Surely this is nothing more than the slur of a drunken, sleazy, middle-aged fool, shouted, spittle and all, across the dancefloor of some puke-stained nightclub. It’s up there with ‘get your coat you’ve pulled’ on the list of things normal people simply don’t say.
Digressions aside, Brit’s record company released 14 sneak previews of this new ‘highly awaited video’ from director Jonas Åklerlund (he’s the guy who was also responsible for Lady Gaga’s Telephone)…. anticipation is essential these days, but surely this a case of overkill?
You have to question if her management plan on using the video as a catalyst to set Britney off on a direct course towards another episode,like some twisted PR strategy. Just imagine the brainstorming notes…
Racy school uniform on underage teen Brit – DONE
Pop star boyfriend – DONE
Kids & regulation naked baby bump shot – DONE
Drunken Vegas wedding – DONE
Knickerless shots – <OVER> DONE

“OK, so the breakdown worked, let’s go back there for a while, everyone will go crazy when she makes another comeback! ???

So I asked around – in case it was just me thinking “Who is this wobbly redneck doing a bit of karaoke in her wedding dress whilst trying to forget she’s been divorced for many years and lives in a trailer????. ‘The kids’ at SGPR HQ feel sorry for her, but who wants pity? Our resident music journalist was more eloquent…
“It hurts my eyes, and not in the straining to watch something on a screen for eight hours way, rather more like someone sticking hot pins into my retinae. There is no thought behind the concept, with almost everything stolen from the step by step guide to making something look cheap, and unimaginative. There’s also too much product in shot on numerous occasions, which nobody has tried to hide. People are wise to this, especially when it’s done so obviously, making this look ridiculous in extremis.  And Britney is well passed those crop top and knicker combinations…”
So there you have it Britney. Sack the stylist at least.